ticklepickleme

How do you describe a feeling?

2012-01-27T19:00:00.001Z

A thumbs up.

2012-01-27T18:02:00.000Z

Toxic leaders x4

2012-01-26T17:24:00.002Z

Smile.

2012-01-25T14:08:00.000Z

10 thoughts on...the 84th Academy Awards nominations

2012-01-24T17:36:00.000Z

What was Jennifer Lawrence wearing?!
Now that Hugo has a greater total tally than The Artist the media are going to try to convince everyone that the former is a likely Best Picture winner. You are foolish to believe in such a dream. (Unfortunately!)
There are many incredible performances that have been snubbed by Oscar. This year four of those (that were presumably very close to a nomination) are Albert Brooks, Michael Fassbender, Tilda Swinton and Shailene Woodley. And there are many more who were presumably less close to a nomination (such as Olivia Colman, Kirsten Dunst, Ryan Gosling and Elizabeth Olsen).
Bridesmaids may have been snubbed for Best Picture but it feels like a winner as it received nominations for Original Screenplay and Supporting Actress. This is a film that deserves to be celebrated.
I am very happy to see A Separation nominated for Original Screenplay. And how unlikely is it that you would group that film with Bridesmaids and Midnight in Paris?!
I'm hoping that the surprise nomination for Extremely Loud and Terribly Close equates in the Academy's desire to celebrate Viola Davis this year. She deserves to win Best Actress. For so many reasons.
Demian Bichir and Gary Oldman for Best Actor? Two (good) surprises in one category compensates for the lack of surprises for the rest of the acting.
I wish I could forget about The Tree of Life.
Cars 2 and The Adventures of Tintin snubbed for Animated Feature? The Academy are brave (ignoring Disney, Pixar and Steven Spielberg) but right in their decision. I'm presuming the smaller animated films nominated are as impressive as The Secret of Kells, the surprise nominee (from Ireland - YAY!) a few years back.

The Artist, Martin Scorsese, George Clooney, Viola Davis/Meryl Streep (all depends on the SAG award), Christopher Plummer and Octavia Spencer look like the likely winners on February 26th.

An irresistible statement.

2012-01-23T15:47:00.000Z

"Eat my shit!"

And the nominees are...Academy Awards 2012

2012-01-23T11:21:00.000Z

Best Picture
The Artist
The Descendants
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
The Help
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
Moneyball
Upset: Bridesmaids, Ides of March, War Horse
Wish: Bridesmaids, The Descendants, Drive, Melancholia, The Help, Hugo, Midnight in Paris, Shame

Best Director
Woody Allen for Midnight in Paris
David Fincher for The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Michel Hazanvicius for The Artist
Alexander Payne for The Descendants
Martin Scorsese for Hugo
Upset: Terrence Mallick for Tree of Life, Nicolas Winding Refn for Drive, Steven Spielberg for War Horse
Wish: Woody Allen, Steve McQueen for Shame, Nicolas Winding Refn, Martin Scorsese, Lars von Trier for Melancholia

Best Actor
George Clooney for The Descendants
Leonardo DiCaprio for J. Edgar
Jean Dujardin for The Artist
Michael Fassbender for Shame
Brad Pitt for Moneyball
Upset: Demian Bichir for A Better Life, Michael Shannon for Take Shelter
Wish: George Clooney, Tom Cullen for Weekend, Michael Fassbender, Ryan Gosling for Drive, Gary Oldman for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Best Actress
Glenn Close for Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis for The Help
Meryl Streep for The Iron Lady
Tilda Swinton for We Need To Talk About Kevin
Michelle Williams for My Week With Marilyn
Upset: Rooney Mara for The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Wish: Olivia Colman for Tryannosaur, Viola Davis, Kirsten Dunst for Melancholia, Elisabeth Olsen for Martha Marcy May Marlene, Kristen Wiig for Bridesmaids

Best Supporting Actor
Kenneth Branagh for My Week With Marilyn
Albert Brooks for Drive
Jonah Hill for Moneyball
Christopher Plummer for Beginners
Corey Stoll for Midnight in Paris
Upset: Armie Hammer for J. Edgar, Nick Nolte for Warrior, Brad Pitt for Tree of Life
Wish: Kenneth Branagh, Albert Brooks, Colin Firth for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Brad Pitt, Christopher Plummer

Best Supporting Actress
Berenice Bejo for The Artist
Jessica Chastain for The Help
Melissa McCarthy for Bridesmaids
Janet McTeer for Albert Nobbs
Octavia Spencer for The Help
Upset: Vanessa Redgrave for Coriolanus, Shailene Woodley for The Descendants
Wish: Nicole Beharie for Shame, Jessica Chastain, Melissa McCarthy, Octavia Spencer, Shailene Woodley

Best Original Screenplay
The Artist
Bridesmaids
Midnight in Paris
Young Adult
Win Win
Upset: Take Shelter, A Separation
Wish: Bridesmaids, Martha Marcy May Marlene, Melancholia, A Separation, Tryannosaur

Best Adapted Screenplay
The Descendants
The Help
Hugo
The Ides of March
Moneyball
Upset: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Wish: The Descendants, The Help, Hugo, The Ides of March, We Need To Talk About Kevin

"I think you're ready..."

2012-01-20T16:23:00.000Z

...to hear a little story about a girl, a girl named Megan. Girl named Megan that didn't have a very good time in high school. I'm referring to myself. When I say Megan, it's me Megan. I know you look at me now and think, boy she must have breezed through high school. Not the case, Annie. No, this was not easy going up and down the halls. Okay? They used to try to blow me up. They threw fire crackers at my head. Fire crackers. I mean literally. I'm not saying that figuratively. I got fire crackers thrown at my head. They called me a freak. Do you think I let that break me? Think I went home to my mommy crying: "Oh, I don't have any friends. Oh, Megan doesn't have any friends." No, I did not. You know what I did? I pulled myself up. I studied really hard. I read every book in the library and now I work for the government...You lost Lillian. You got another best friend sitting right in front of you. Now you're going to stop feeling sorry for yourself because I do not associate with people that blame the world for their problem because you're your problem, Annie. And you're also your solution.

An irresistible question.

2012-01-19T23:58:00.000Z

"Where am I going to?"

How do you describe a feeling?

2012-01-19T13:06:00.000Z

I feel in love.

2012-01-19T10:34:00.000Z

Shailene Woodley in The Descendants is terrific. She creates a mature teenager rather than a mature character that seems to be an teenager (see: Olive in Easy A and the titular Juno for such examples). It is refreshing.

Hopefully Woodley will find herself an Oscar nominee next Tuesday.

My favourite shot...Zelig

2012-01-18T14:35:00.002Z

How do you describe a feeling?

2012-01-17T18:32:00.003Z

In a miniscule way Olivia Colman has been left unloved just as her devastating character in Tryannosaur. BAFTA announced their nominees today and Colman was ignored for her leading performance in Tryannosaur and her supporting performance in The Iron Lady.

Personally I think the first snub is an outrage as her performance is far superior on every level to the actual Best Actress nominees*. I hope that the performance is enough to ensure that Colman is cast in equally complex roles...but the film industry can be unkind. As these BAFTA nominations show.

*This is particularly true of Berenice Bejo whose performance in The Artist is charming but little else.

A thumbs up.

2012-01-16T22:36:00.000Z

10 thoughts on...the Golden Globes 2012

2012-01-16T21:17:00.000Z

The Artist is now unstoppable on its journey towards Oscar. Thankfully we will be treated to the adorable image of Uggie, the dog of The Artist, clutching an Oscar as we have with a Golden Globe above.
Ricky Gervais seemed to be much more restricted than last year, although he did manage to provide some good jokes/digs. I still don't think he is an appropriate awards host. Shouldn't we be celebrating the industry and forgive its superficial nature for a few nights of the year?
Julianne Moore is wonderful even when her autocue breaks. And, also, when she giggles at the Elizabeth McGovern tripping on her way to the stage.
People really seemed to love Claire Danes. Or perhaps it was love for Hometown?
People also really seem to love Octavia Spencer. Melissa McCarthy even cried during her speech. She is destined to win the Oscar. As is Christopher Plummer.
Can Martin Scorsese win a second Best Director Oscar? (I hope so).
Meryl Streep looked as horrified as I was when she was called Best Actress - Drama rather than Viola Davis. I've nothing against Streep but that film is atrocious and such a win will only crown her great career rather than give it a boost which Davis would benefit from. I don't want to see her wasted in another Eat Love Pray. Hopefully Davis will win the SAG award and then the Oscar. But I'm doubtful.
George Clooney vs. Brad Pitt for Best Actor? As long as Jean Dujardin doesn't upset I am happy.
Best dressed? Nicole Kidman, Diane Lane, Tilda Swinton and Reese Witherspoon.
I do not like Madonna.

And the nominees are...BAFTA awards 2012

2012-01-16T21:12:00.000Z

Best Film
The Artist
The Descendants
The Help
Hugo
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Upset: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Midnight in Paris, My Week with Marilyn, War Horse

Outstanding British Film
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II
The Iron Lady
My Week with Marilyn
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
We Need to Talk About Kevin
Upset: Senna, Tryannosaur, War Horse

Film Not in the English Language
Incendies
Little White Lies
Pina
A Separation
The Skin I Live In
Upset: As If I Am Not There, Potiche, Tomboy

Director
Michel Hazanicius for The Artist
Alexander Payne for The Descendants
Lynne Ramsay for We Need to Talk About Kevin
Martin Scorsese for Hugo
Nicolas Winding Refn for Drive
Upset: Tomas Alfredson for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Original Screenplay
The Artist
Bridesmaids
The Guard
Midnight in Paris
Tyrannosaur
Upset: Young Adult

Adapted Screenplay
The Descendants
The Help
The Ides of March
Moneyball
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Upset: Hugo, We Need to Talk About Kevin

Leading Actor
George Clooney for The Descendants
Jean Dujardin for The Artist
Michael Fassbender for Shame
Gary Oldman for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Brad Pitt for Moneyball
Upset: Brendan Gleeson for The Guard

Leading Actress
Olivia Colman for Tryannosaur
Viola Davis for The Help
Meryl Streep for The Iron Lady
Tilda Swinton for We Need to Talk About Kevin
Michelle Williams for My Week with Marilyn
Upset: Berenice Bejo for The Artist

Supporting Actor
Kenneth Branagh for My Week with Marilyn
Colin Firth for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Jonah Hill for Moneyball
Eddie Marsan for Tryannosaur
Christopher Plummer for Beginners
Upset: Albert Brooks for Drive

Supporting Actress
Jessica Chastain for The Help
Judi Dench for My Week with Marilyn
Melissa McCarthy for Bridesmaids
Carey Mulligan for Drive
Octavia Spencer for The Help
Upset: Olivia Colman for The Iron Lady, Bryce Dallas Howard for The Help

Smile.

2012-01-15T23:26:00.000Z

Cinematic hero.

2012-01-15T20:11:00.001Z

                                       BRANDON

                               One person for the rest of your

                               life? I mean, it's...I mean,

                               you know, you  come to restaurants,

                               you see couples sitting together

                               and they don't even speak to one

                               another. They don't have anything

                               to say, they don't have anything.

                                       MARIANNE

                               They probably don't have to speak 

                               because they're connected.

                                       BRANDON

                               Or they're just bored with one 

                               another.

Brandon is an uncompromising character who is determined to remain detached from emotion and sentiment. He can perform momentary gestures of goodwill, such as opening a door for a mother with her child, but cannot commit to anything more substantial. He invests more time in relationships with characters he has no connection with rather than his sister or, as the film shows, romantic interests. It wouldn't be a stretch of the imagination to suggest that Brandon is alone.

This harrowing character is brought to life by Michael Fassbender and he has deservedly been praised (hopefully with an Oscar nomination in a few days time). The unsung hero for me is Nicole Beharie as Marianne, the true catalyst for Brandon's attempt to change.

Marianne embraces commitment, she has been previously married, and Beharie's performance infuses hopefulness towards her relationship with Brandon. As he has agreed to their date, although we can see that it has taken some courage for him to arrive, and displays an adolescent joy in her presence, we can assume that Brandon is attracted to her. The initial few minutes are blissfully romantic, as if taken from a Woody Allen film. Then they stumble onto the above conversation and their obstacle is clear. As with a standard film this would be the moment where the protagonist resolves to change his ways (although Brandon must also endure another incident with his troublesome sister) to win the heart of the girl, but there is nothing standard about what happens after this moment.

Beharie represents the commitment that Brandon fears and, also, the potential happiness that he has lost in his detachment. And, appropriately, Beharie is vibrant onscreen presence that succeeds in making the audience as giddy as Brandon. But this is a cruel trick by Steve McQueen, their first date reassures the audience that Brandon is capable of commitment before throwing us into a very dark world.

I can't wait to see what Michael Fassbender, Steve McQueen (together and/or separately) and Nicole Beharie do next.

"This...stuff?"

2012-01-13T17:21:00.003Z

Oh. Okay. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select...I don't know, that lumpy blue sweater, for instance because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don't know is that that sweater is not just blue, it's not turquoise. It's not lapis. It's actually cerulean. And you're also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2022, Oscar de la Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves Saint Laurent...wasn't it who showed cerulean military jackets? I think we need a jacket here. And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers. And then it, uh, filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic Casual Corner where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you're wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room...from a pile of stuff.

10 thoughts on...War Horse

2012-01-13T16:46:00.001Z

This may be the worst Steven Spielberg film I've seen. Very disappointing after his success with The Adventures of Tintin.
Surely this contains the most irritating of cinematic ducks?
The only way to humanise animals in film is to animate them or give them a voice. Not that War Horse attempts to give the titular horse, Joey, much of a personality which makes this whole adaptation seem rather pointless. Did Spielberg want to tell a story about a horse or a story of World War I?
This felt overly cinematic. Did Spielberg and co. suffer under the pressure of the successful stage production and overcompensate?
However, the moment where Joey runs towards the barbwire fences is one terrifically structured...until the whistling match between the English and the Germans.
Emily Watson deserves better roles. Will she ever find another Breaking the Waves or Hilary and Jackie?
The strength of the stage production lies in the relationships between Joey and those he meets during the war. This is possible thanks to the suspension of disbelief that is required when you are presented with the puppet horse. As this film neglects to develop Joey as a character this aspect is lost and the film is largely unmoving.
Emily, the young French girl, has the most irritating French twang. Not that the Devonshire accent is much better.
Will Eddie Marsan ever play a positive character?
It is unsurprising that War Horse has so quickly lost steam in the race to the Oscars. It may be a glossy yet sentimental adaptation of an epic tale but there is very little heart.

How do you describe a feeling?

2012-01-13T15:05:00.001Z

Rob Marshall is developing a screen adaptation of Into the Woods. WHAT?!

If your last film is a hit in Hollywood then many doors will open for you but if your last film is a billion-dollar hit then all doors will open to you. Unfortunately Rob Marshall has an example of the latter and his door of choice is inevitably of the musical variety. WHY?!

Unfortunately it seems that this recent hit is boosting the confidence of a man who is too regularly referred to a modern day Bob Fosse by the mindless media. Nothing could be further from the truth. Yes, Chicago was a solid piece of entertainment that had an interesting (if not novel) narrative device to present the musical numbers through the mind of the protagonist. Unfortunately Marshall proved that he may be a one-trick filmmaker as he attempted this same device with Nine and failed miserably. Was this because he was given more control or because the text was more complex than Chicago? And what about his dull direction of Memoirs of a Geisha? That had the potential to burst through the screen and break the hearts of the audience. Unsurprisingly it failed. So again, WHAT and WHY is this man been given the opportunity to develop any film?

Because audiences for Pirates of the Caribbean 4 were either treated to an uncharacteristically brilliant film by Marshall or they don't care if their film is dull as long as it has Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow. I'll go with the second option.

So now Marshall has Into the Woods in his sights and will, presumably, cast some of my favourite female actors (Amy Adams, Toni Collette, Anne Hathaway, some of his previous star performers?) to bring life to his otherwise trite musical numbers in an adaptation that will kill most of the imagination of the source material.

And yet, as with Nine, I will look forward to the film's eventual release. This is what happens when audiences are starved of contemporary film musicals.

Reactions to Viola Davis winning Best Actress at the Critics' Choice Awards 2012 x4

2012-01-13T13:58:00.003Z

Disappointed(?).

Indifferent.

Emotional.

Joyful.

Social advice from...Penny Downie

2012-01-12T21:00:00.000Z

"It's much safer to be fond of dangerous people."

And the winners...Golden Globe Awards 2012

2012-01-12T14:02:00.000Z

Best Film - Drama
Win: The Descendants
Upset: Hugo
Wish: The Help or Hugo

Best Film - Comedy/Musical
Win: The Artist
Upset: Midnight In Paris
Wish: Bridesmaids

Best Director
Win: Martin Scorsese for Hugo
Upset: Michel Hazanavicius for The Artist
Wish: Martin Scorsese

Best Actor - Drama
Win: Brad Pitt for Moneyball
Upset: George Clooney for The Descendants
Wish: Michael Fassbender for Shame

Best Actress - Drama
Win: Viola Davis for The Help
Upset: Meryl Streep for The Iron Lady
Wish: Viola Davis

Best Actor - Comedy/Musical
Win: Jean Dujardin for The Artist
Upset: None
Wish: Brendan Gleeson for The Guard

Best Actress - Comedy/Musical
Win: Michelle Williams for My Week With Marilyn
Upset: None
Wish: Kristen Wiig for Bridesmaids

Best Screenplay
Win: The Descendants
Upset: Midnight In Paris
Wish: The Descendants

Best Supporting Actor
Win: Christopher Plummer for Beginners
Upset: Albert Brooks for Drive
Wish: Christopher Plummer

Best Supporting Actress
Win: Jessica Chastain for The Help
Upset: Berenice Bejo for The Artist or Octavia Spencer for The Help
Wish: Jessica Chastain or Octavia Spencer

Best Animated Feature Film
Win: Rango
Upset: The Adventures of Tintin
Wish: The Adventures of Tintin

Best Foreign Language Film
Win: A Separation
Upset: The Kid With A Bike
Win: A Separation

Best Original Score
Win: The Artist
Upset: Hugo
Win: Hugo

Best Original Song
Win: "Masterpiece" from W.E.
Upset: "The Living Proof" from The Help
Win: "Lay Your Head Down" from Albert Nobbs

Smile.

2012-01-11T13:48:00.001Z

How do you describe a feeling?

2012-01-11T11:32:00.002Z

Interview x4

2012-01-11T09:59:00.000Z

Dreaming.

2012-01-10T18:30:00.001Z

"I want to go to the bank and cash a Goddamn check!"

10 thoughts on...The Iron Lady

2012-01-09T18:21:00.000Z

I am loving the conversations that this film has inspired, everyone has something to say about Margaret Thatcher and The Iron Lady.
It would have been much more interesting if the film A) had decided to describe Thatcher's past through her present, B) focused on an area of Thatcher's government, or C) had not been directed by the person behind Mamma Mia.
Olivia Colman is fantastic as Carol Thatcher. The moment where she attempts to tell her mother, as an elderly lady suffering from dementia, the realities of her existence is the most effective scene.
Outlandishness is too easily read as camp. This is, unfortunately, too true of this representation of Thatcher perfectly exhibited in Meryl Streep's delivery of the following line when faced with the option of a democratic approach versus the attack on a 'terrorist' ship: "Sink it!"...
...but that may be the saving grace of the film. Still, it feels incredibly inappropriate for such a controversial figure to be given such a superficial makeover.
Similar to Michelle Williams in My Week with Marilyn, it would be disappointing to see Streep win for her solid performance in such a poor film. She creates Thatcher onscreen but is left stranded with an unfocused script. This is a very weak year for the Best Actress race.
I've never seen Jim Broadbent give a bad performance. Until now.
Did Thatcher glide through the House of Commons? Or does Phyllida Lloyd simply fantasise that this happened as well as that spectacular 'swish' that Streep creates whilst she enters 10 Downing Street for the first time. Awful(ly entertaining).
Lloyd should be prevented from working on any films that do not involve a Greek island and ABBA music.
I'm glad to see Thatcher has fictional fond memories of The King and I.

Essential cinema.

2012-01-08T18:05:00.001Z

Incredible. It is rare for a film to be as compelling as it is complex. I can't wait to revisit. And revisit.

An irresistible statement.

2012-01-08T17:47:00.000Z

"You look like a fun guy."

Top of the class. Fictional characters brough to life à la The Purple Rose of Ciaro

2012-01-08T11:05:00.000Z

The list is comprised of those characters I'd like to have in my life so there is a definite absence of characters who are malicious, vicious or dastardly (although number 9 is definitely dangerous). Someday I'd like to follow this up with a list of 10 characters I would not like to bring to life.

10. Vanessa Loring (Jennifer Garner) from Juno
This may reveal how dull I am but I find Vanessa the most intriguing character in the Juno universe. She so desperately wants to fulfill her dream of a happy family that her husband flees. Thankfully this doesn't prevent her. What Vanessa needs more than anything is a friend and some fun. I'd be happy to provide both.

9. Grace Hawkins (Maggie Smith) from Keeping Mum
Wouldn't it be handy to have someone to watch over you...even if they did think that murder was the solution to many (if not all) of your problems. Plus wouldn't it be wonderful to have any variation of Maggie Smith in your life?

8. Don Lockwood (Gene Kelly) from Singin' in the Rain
He can sing, he can dance, he has one of the best films in cinema and he is eager to make the best films possible. What isn't to like? Also, if I was single, he would be a very promising romantic interest.

7. Eleanor Dashwood (Emma Thompson) from Sense and Sensibility
Eleanor is definitely best friend material. We know she can keep a secret, she is loyal and (above all) is a romantic. But what would she think of the world of today?

6. Hal Fields (Christopher Plummer) from Beginners
Hal expresses an outlook on life that I wish I shared, and would hope to gain if he was to jump out of the screen and into my life.

5. Ashley (Amy Adams) from Junebug
Like Vanessa, Ashley is adorable but has a slightly melancholia edge as her intellect is undermined by the family she hopes to marry into. I would love to be around this.

4. Selma Jezoka (Bjork) from Dancer in the Dark
How wonderful would it be to rescue Selma from the nightmarish fate of Lars von Trier's film? We could watch a marathon of Hollywood musicals whilst somewhere sourcing the money needed to save her eyesight.

3. Olive (Emma Stone) from Easy A
I wish Olive had been in my school. I'm sure we would have been friends. And I know we would have had lots of fun. If she would also bring her parents along too (the wonderful Patricia Clarkson and Stanley Tucci) then I would be very happy indeed.

2. WALL-E from WALL-E
The selfless robot who likes finds pleasure in the most mundane of objects and musical theatre. He also cannot help but be cute.

1. Peg Boggs (Dianne Wiest) from Edward Scissorhands
Optimistic. Enthusiastic. Open. Adorable. She would attempt to solve the world with good intentions. But she may fail. We'll still love her though, right?

Revisiting. One reaction. PGA nominations 2012

2012-01-07T19:27:00.001Z

I take it back. No WGA nomination? The Ides of March is a weaker Best Picture contender than I (excitedly) claimed.

I can do what I've always wanted to do x4

2012-01-07T18:59:00.004Z

One reaction. The Artist

2012-01-05T19:10:00.000Z

I am no expert on silent cinema but I am almost certain that The Artist does not qualify as one. So why is it marketed as such? And is Michel Hazanavicius, who claims he was determined to make a silent film, aware what his film actually is? Many have been quick to highlight the technical aspects of the film that ignore previous methods of silent filmmaking. None of this occurred to me (although I think it also an interesting point). My issue with The Artist is it's use of sound. Yes sound!

The Artist is charming, entertaining and celebrates film (always good) yet it feels wholly ingenuous. There have been many films that have embraced methods of silent cinema, one being WALL-E. None of these examples would sit comfortably alongside the silent films from early cinema due to their use of diegetic sound and, unsurprisingly, none of these films were labelled silent cinema...yet The Artist, which uses diegetic sound in two key sequences of the film, is heralded as such. Sure, most of the film does rigidly act as a silent film but this seems to function as a simple device to charm the audience. In truth the silence is probably been used to disguise the fact that Hazanavicius has nothing original or interesting to say; his narrative is weak and set within the cliched world of 1920s Hollywood.

In short, The Artist is not a silent film but utilises that film form to entertain contemporary audiences. It succeeds yet it is undermined by the film's inability to convince us as anything other than a throwaway gimmick.

A film within a film.

2012-01-05T17:00:00.000Z

You Gotta Have A Gimmick x4

2012-01-05T11:19:00.000Z

An image to treasure.

2012-01-04T21:19:00.000Z

I love these women.

One reaction. PGA nominations 2012

2012-01-04T20:51:00.000Z

The Ides of March will be nominated for Best Picture at the 84th Academy Awards.

The combination of its cast of Oscar winners and nominees with its award friendly genre directed by a symbol of contemporary Hollywood should be enough to secure a nod. It is definitely looking more comfortable after its surprise presence at the Golden Globes and, now, the PGA nominations.

"I see all this potential..."

2012-01-04T17:29:00.000Z

...an entire generation pumping gas or waiting tables. Slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so that we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, no purpose or place. We've no great war or Great Depression. Our Great War is a spiritual war. Our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars but we won't. We're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

Waking up x4

2012-01-04T15:51:00.000Z

Subtitled wisdom.

2012-01-03T09:26:00.000Z

Smile.

2012-01-02T18:12:00.000Z

I hope my 2012 is as charming and entertaining as my first cinematic outing of the year. I also hope it is a bit more satisfying.

Parental advice from...Viola Davis.

2012-01-01T18:03:00.000Z

"You can't hold a child responsible for what God gave him to be."

An irresistible question.

2012-01-01T17:13:00.001Z

"Who would eat a chicken?"

5 wishes for...cinema 2012.

2012-01-01T13:41:00.000Z

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey will prove my cynical side wrong by A) being as terrific as the original The Lord of the Rings trilogy and B) showing that Peter Jackson is not as indulgent as his output post-TLOR suggests.
Kristin Scott Thomas impresses in each of her (potentially - foreign-language films struggle for distribution) eight films, climaxing with the awesomeness which will be her performance in Nicolas Winding Refn's Only God Forgives. Will awards beckon as they are currently for Albert Brooks in Drive?
Brave will do the impossible and be the greatest Pixar success yet (that title currently going to Toy Story 3, if you had to ask).
Baz Luhrmann will give us the best 3D experience yet and the last remaining naysayers, including myself, wrong with his adaptation of The Great Gatsby. And I'm wishing that it is as good as his previous four films.
Audiences become bored with franchises (Resident Evil, Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II), sequels (G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Step Up 4) and remakes (The Amazing Spider-Man)...and flock to see a musical adaptation (Les Miserables). Unlikely.

A film within a film.

2011-12-31T11:39:00.000Z

10 moments to cherish...cinema 2011

2011-12-31T11:05:00.000Z

The above poster for Weekend. Beautiful.
Nicole Kidman in Rabbit Hole. The best performance from one of the most interesting actors of this generation.
Daft Punk's score for TRON: Legacy.
Mother knows best. Donna Murphy may have voiced the greatest Disney villain yet.
The passive aggressive relationship between Kirsten Wiig and Rose Byrne in Bridesmaids. Perfectly displayed through their competitive speech giving.
Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone go on a date in Crazy Stupid Love. I wish the rest of the film was as charming and enjoyable as this sequence.
Howl was definitely not one of my favourite films of the year but it did contain one incredible moment, one that summed (and sums) how I feel right now.
Miranda July establishing herself as one of the most exciting young (as this is just her second feature) filmmakers with The Future. I cannot wait to see what she does next.
Melancholia.
Maggie Smith dueling Alan Rickman. Then she commands the defense on Hogwarts. I'm no fan of the Harry Potter series but it was impossible not to celebrate this. Here's hoping for a spin-off.

Top of the class. Films 2011.

2011-12-30T17:52:00.000Z

1. Melancholia
2. Rabbit Hole
3. A Separation
4. Hugo
5. Drive
6. Tangled
7. Blue Valentine
8. The Help
9. Tryannosaur
10. We Need To Talk About Kevin

Notable mentions: Bridesmaids, Martha Marcy May Marlene, Senna, Source Code

My favourite shot...The Boy Friend

2011-12-30T13:23:00.000Z

Pocket full of sunshine x4

2011-12-29T20:01:00.000Z

Top of the class. Performances 2011.

2011-12-29T12:24:00.000Z

1. Olivia Colman in Tryannosaur
2. Nicole Kidman in Rabbit Hole
3. Jacki Weaver in Animal Kingdom
4. Kirsten Dunst in Melancholia
5. Michelle Williams in Blue Valentine
6. Ryan Gosling in Blue Valentine
7. Aaron Eckhart in Rabbit Hole
8. Tilda Swinton in We Need To Talk About Kevin
9. Tom Cullen in Weekend
10. Amy Adams in The Fighter

Notable mentions: Charlotte Gainsbourg in Melancholia, Ryan Gosling in Drive, Elizabeth Olsen in Martha Marcy May Marlene

Christmas in movies. 2011.

2011-12-29T11:46:00.002Z

Top of the class. Direction 2011.

2011-12-28T22:20:00.000Z

1. Lars von Trier for Melancholia
2. Nicolas Winding Refn for Drive
3. Martin Scorsese for Hugo
4. John Cameron Mitchell for Rabbit Hole
5. Xavier Dolan for Heartbeats
6. Asghar Farhadi for A Separation
7. Derek Cianfrance for Blue Valentine
8. Lynne Ramsay for We Need To Talk About Kevin
9. Miranda July for The Future
10. Sean Durkin for Martha Marcy May Marlene

How do you describe a feeling?

2011-12-28T16:13:00.001Z

A film within a film.

2011-12-28T15:55:00.002Z

My favourite shot...Downton Abbey Christmas special

2011-12-27T18:27:00.000Z

An irresistible question.

2011-12-27T17:59:00.000Z

"Is there anyone else? Someone else special?"

Subtitled wisdom.

2011-12-26T15:44:00.000Z

My year in films. 2011

2011-12-26T09:28:00.000Z

Smile.

2011-12-22T13:03:00.000Z

How do you describe a feeling?

2011-12-21T18:54:00.000Z

Presents x4

2011-12-20T15:36:00.000Z

10 thoughts on...the second trailer for The Dark Knight Rises

2011-12-19T23:05:00.003Z

1. The American national anthem? Really?!

2. We're finally given a glimpse of Anne Hathaway's Selina Kyle. The verdict? Hathaway's line delivery is disappointingly bland...

3. ...but she looks great.
4. I don't think Tom Hardy should be hidden behind a mask.
5. American football? Really?!
6. Christopher Nolan surely can't deliver another massive hit after The Dark Knight and Inception. When will the backlash begin?

7. Marion Cotillard is delicious. And definitely provides the most interesting moment in this trailer.

8. Hathaway still looks great but where is her cat costume?

9. Is this Inception in a bat world?
10. When will audiences want supermen to return to their fun and slightly more camp ways of Tim Burton's Batman films?

Smile.

2011-12-19T21:31:00.002Z

I Don't Know How She Does It is as enjoyable as questionable entertainment can be. I am a fan.

6 ways to celebrate...the 31st year of Jake Gyllenhaal

2011-12-19T21:17:00.001Z

Pretend your godfather is Paul Newman and your godmother is Jamie Lee Curtis.
Whip your hair back and forth.
Be used as a guinea pig by Vera Farmiga and Jeffrey Wright.
Fall in love with Heath Ledger.
Almost be Spider-Man. And Batman. Then be the Prince of Persia.
Adopt an adorable puppy.

"What did it feel like when you fell in love?"

2011-12-19T17:29:00.000Z

Oh...oh dear, I don't think I found it. Maybe a little, in the beginning. He didn't really have any regard for me as a person. You gotta be careful with that. You gotta be careful with the person you fall in love is worth it, to you...I think the only way you can find out is have the feeling. You're a good person. You have the right to say I do trust. I do trust myself.

An irresistible question.

2011-12-19T17:08:00.001Z

"What is it?! What have I done?"

A thumbs up.

2011-12-18T17:04:00.000Z

Preparing Christmas food x4

2011-12-17T19:31:00.003Z

Subtitled wisdom.

2011-12-15T21:53:00.002Z

10 thoughts on...the Golden Globe nominations 2012

2011-12-15T20:22:00.000Z

Who would have thought that The Ides of March had the support?
I have a feeling that Extremely Loud and Terribly Close is going to sneak up on the Oscars just like The Reader did in 2009. I presume Stephen Daldry has sold his soul for this ability.
I was disappointed to see the final nail in Elizabeth Olsen's coffin. It would seem that Rooney Mara has become the sole representative of 'fresh talent' in the Best Actress race. But can she make it to the Oscars? (I'm going to say no...)
I am shocked and disappointed that Melissa McCarthy was snubbed for Best Supporting Actress. Who would have thought she would receive a SAG nomination and not one for a Golden Globe? Odd. Surely this will put an end to her Oscar campaign?
I can't believe how well I predicted these nominations...9 mistakes with 4 being for the The Ides of March.
No Steven Spielberg for Best Director? Surprising as the Globes are infamous for their adoration of A-list celebrities (think the hoard of nominations for The Tourist last year). This doesn't bode well for the Oscar potential of War Horse.
Is the combination of Leonardo DiCaprio with a biopic too much for awards voters?!
I wish Ricky Gervais wasn't presenting the awards again. Yes, there is much to mock in the industry but not on a night where it is celebrated.
I can't wait to see Michelle Williams win Best Actress - Comedy / Musical.
It is a shame that The Muppets was ignored. Even W.E. managed to get itself two nominations.

Singing in the rain x4

2011-12-15T13:29:00.000Z

Smile.

2011-12-14T20:00:00.000Z

10 thoughts on...the SAG Nominations 2012

2011-12-14T19:18:00.000Z

It must have been a huge relief for Glenn Close to hear her name announced. Who would have thought that she would struggle to earn an Oscar nomination with a role as juicy as the titular Albert Nobbs?
I am very happy about Jessica Chastain's nomination for The Help.
This is good news for The Artist, Bridesmaids (Melissa McCarthy is a likely Oscar nominee), The Help and Midnight In Paris. And all four of those films deserve to be celebrated.
No Vanessa Redgrave? Or Albert Brooks? Or Shailene Woodley? These three were frontrunners of their respective supporting categories...
I am surprised that Leonardo DiCaprio is still a prominent figure in the Best Actor race. People are desperate to reward him, I just wish it was in a deserving role.
No Michael Fassbender? Or Michael Shannon? Or Ryan Gosling? They were all trumped by another 'art house nominee', Demian Bichir. Hopefully there will be room for two of these four men (if DiCaprio loses momentum).
I'm disappointed that Hugo failed to get a nomination for Best Ensemble. No film has gone on to win the Best Picture Oscar since Braveheart without that nomination here.
Best Actress is a very busy category this year. I assume Elizabeth Olsen and Charlize Theron will be the victims of this. But it is great to see Tilda Swinton gaining buzz, and it is completely deserved.
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and War Horse must be worried right now...I can't wait to see how they feature at the Golden Globes tomorrow.
Judy Greer and Regina King are wonderful.

Dreaming.

2011-12-13T18:43:00.000Z

"I don't know when,

I don't know how,

But I know something is starting right now..."

Birthday x4

2011-12-12T16:58:00.000Z

Smile.

2011-12-11T23:00:00.000Z

10 thoughts on...Albert Nobbs

2011-12-11T18:35:00.001Z

Irish accents are notoriously difficult to perfect but they are perfect here.
It is too easy to confuse Pauline Collins and Brenda Fricker.
There is not enough at risk here. Are the audience supposed to fear that Albert Nobbs won't succeed in her/his pursuit of Mia Wasikowska's Helen? It is near impossible to hope for either possibilities as they would be joyless. More frustrating is the obvious risk that Nobbs is under as a woman in a man's role...there is no hint of what she/he would face.
Glenn Close is impressive but suffers with a script that does not allow her to bring much life to this character. It is difficult to see her interest in this character or film.
Brendan Gleeson can do this type of role in his sleep.
Janet McTeer deserves every nomination she receives this Oscar season. She brings life and perspective to this otherwise unfocused film.
This does not feel like an Irish story. Why couldn't an Irish woman/man direct the film? I think the society should have played a greater role as it was society that forced someone such as Albert Nobbs to defy their gender.
I wouldn't be surprised if Close is not Oscar nominated for her performance.
Wasikowska is definitely an actor to watch over the next few years. I do not say the same about Aaron Johnson.
All in all this felt like a waste opportunity to tell a very interesting story. A disappointment.

And the nominees are...(?)

2011-12-11T12:14:00.001Z

Best Film - Drama
The Descendants
The Help
Hugo
Moneyball
War Horse

Upsets: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Tree of Life

Best Film - Comedy / Musical
The Artist
Beginners
Bridesmaids
Midnight in Paris
My Week With Marilyn

Upsets: 50/50, Carnage, The Guard, The Muppets, We Bought A Zoo

Best Director
Woody Allen for Midnight In Paris
Michel Hazanavicius for The Artist
Alexander Payne for The Descendants
Martin Scorsese for Hugo
Steven Spielberg for War Horse

Upsets: Stephen Daldry for Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, David Fincher for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Terrence Mallick for Tree of Life, Bennett Miller for Moneyball

Best Actor - Drama
George Clooney for The Descendants
Leonardo DiCaprio for J Edgar
Michael Fassbender for Shame
Gary Oldman for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Brad Pitt for Moneyball

Upsets: Ryan Gosling for Drive, Ryan Gosling for Ides of March, Michael Shannon for Take Shelter

Best Actor - Comedy / Musical
Matt Damon for We Bought A Zoo
Jean Dujardin for The Artist
Brendan Gleeson for The Guard*
Joseph Gorden-Levitt for 50/50
Owen Wilson for Midnight In Paris

Upsets: Johnny Depp for The Rum Diary, Paul Giamitti for Win Win, Ewan McGregor for The Beginners

Best Actress - Drama
Glenn Close for Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis for The Help
Rooney Mara for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep for The Iron Lady
Tilda Swinton for We Need To Talk About Kevin

Upsets: Olivia Colman for Tryannosaur*, Keira Knightley for A Dangerous Method, Elizabeth Olsen for Martha Marcy May Marlene*

Best Actress - Comedy / Musical
Jodie Foster for Carnage
Charlize Theron for Young Adult
Kirsten Wiig for Bridesmaids
Michelle Williams for My Week With Marilyn
Kate Winslet for Carnage

Upsets: Amy Adams for The Muppets*, Cameron Diaz for Bad Teacher, Jennifer Garner for Butter, Julia Roberts for Larry Crowne

Best Supporting Actor
Kenneth Branagh for My Week With Marilyn
Albert Brooks for Drive
Tom Hanks for Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Brad Pitt for Tree of Life
Christopher Plummer for Beginners

Upsets: Armie Hammer for J Edgar, Jonah Hill for Moneyball, Kevin Spacey for Margin Call

Best Supporting Actress
Sandra Bullock for Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Melissa McCarthy for Bridesmaids
Vanessa Redgrave for Coriolanus
Octavia Spencer for The Help
Shailene Woodley for The Descendants

Upsets: , Jessica Chastain for The Help, Jessica Chastain for Take Shelter, Judi Dench for J Edgar,
Janet McTeer for Albert Nobbs, Carey Mulligan for Shame

Best Script
The Artist
The Descendants
The Help
Midnight In Paris
War Horse

Upsets: Beginners, Bridesmaids, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Hugo, Moneyball

*These are nominations I would love to see happen.

Maze x4

2011-12-10T16:57:00.000Z

An irresistible question.

2011-12-07T17:25:00.001Z

"When is she going to come back?"

Excuses.

2011-12-07T00:27:00.001Z

"Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging."

10 moments to cherish...Overboard*

2011-12-06T23:55:00.001Z

1. Goldie Hawn's attitude towards her ~~assistant~~ slave Andrew, "Are you going to bring me my lemon or do I have to squeeze it from my hat?!"
2. Hawn, now with amnesia, telling a fellow psychiatric patient to "Eat your checkers!

3. Hawn tries on unflattering clothes bought by her four new sons: "I was short...and fat?!"

4. Hawn washing the dishes by folding the corners of the tablecloth and washing all of the contents.
5. Hawn defending her sons from their teacher: "...I have no doubts whatsoever about their intelligence. I do however have serious doubts about yours!"
6. Kurt Russell tells Hawn that her new life and new sons are none of her business, a comment that leaves Hawn bewildered.
7. Hawn loses the bottom of her plastic champagne glass whilst toasting her birthday with Russell. She has lost the bitchiness that characterised her at the beginning and giggles at the loss. She has grown accustomed to her new life.
8. Hawn has returned to her old life and now shocks her upper class husband, mother and psychiatrist by opening and drinking a bottle of beer.
9. Andrew's advise to Hawn as she is about to jump off her boat to return to Russell: "I can't let you do this...without a life jacket."
10. The happy conclusion. I'm a romantic. Hawn and Russell are a cute couple. What isn't to like?

*Yes, a lot of this is based on Goldie Hawn's line delivery.

Nursing x4

2011-12-06T12:51:00.000Z

10 thoughts on...the British Independent Film Awards 2011

2011-12-05T12:24:00.001Z

Is it just me or are the BIFA a much bigger and more significant event his year?
Unfortunately they're not significant enough to propel the likes of Tryannosaur and its leading lady, Olivia Colman, to deserving nominations at the Academy Awards. Boo.
Colman is incredible in Tryannosaur. Perhaps she will find herself awarded with a BAFTA too? (I'm still dreaming of an Oscar nod.)
Michael Fassbender is indeed delicious. And I can't wait to see Shame.
Can Vanessa Redgrave win a second Oscar next year for Coriolanus? She didn't have much competition in her category here and Jessica Chastain (for Take Shelter) is gaining momentum...but wouldn't it be great to see Redgrave win again? She is never less than fascinating on screen. She deserved to win this category in 2007 for Atonement.
It is nice to see Weekend celebrated.
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy did not feel like an independent film. But what should an independent film feel like? Oh it is a convoluted term.
I'm always happy to hear that Senna and A Separation are being celebrated.
I really wish I saw We Need To Talk About Kevin. Tilda Swinton seems destined for an Oscar nomination right now...especially with Glenn Close and Elizabeth Olsen losing buzz.
I am very excited to see what Paddy Considine decides to do next as a writer / director.

My favourite shot of...An Education

2011-12-05T10:38:00.001Z

How do you describe a feeling?

2011-12-04T20:51:00.001Z

A letter to...the Weinsteins

2011-12-04T16:36:00.001Z

Dear Bob and Harvey Weinstein,

I hope this letter finds you both well. After witnessing the terrific stage revival of Bob Fosse's Pippin by Mitch Sebastian at the Menier Chocolate Facotry, I learned you had acquired the rights for the film adaptation back in 2003. Presumably you were hoping for a second musical success after Chicago. I am writing to plea for you not to (under any condition!) allow Rob Marshall to get his hands on the project.

It is true that you were both behind the film adaptation of Chicago back in 2002. And it is also true that this was directed by Marshall. Yet...it feels like it would have been impossible to destroy such a strong source material as Bob Fosse's theatrical production. The story and characters are delicious, the songs are terrific and its preoccupation with celebrity is perfect for audiences of today. Even with a director whose mind is clearly confined to the theater this was a success. Pippin is a very different beast.

With weaker songs and a wafer-thin narrative, Pippin would struggle to be brought to life by anyone less than a passionate cinefile. The project has more akin with your considerably less successful film adaptation of Nine. Here is where the cracks in Marshall's film-making shown clearly as the meandering plot was forced into convention that failed to recognise the potential of its source material, e.g. the volatile passion of the protagonist, Guido, should have created an array of fantastical musical numbers instead of the confined ones that Marshall creates (for more on my rants on this click here). These mistakes would only be repeated if Marshall was employed to adapt Pippin.

A film version of Pippin could be incredible if created by someone as brave as Sebastian and as cinematic as (for instance) Baz Luhrmann or Spike Jonze. This revival production has returned a show that seemed rooted in the 1970's and made it resonate with audiences of today. The best of Fosse's production is infused with contemporary social issues set against a narrative structure that is akin to the best of kids' films of the 1980's (think Back to the Future, The Neverending Story and Weird Science). It was breathtaking. It will never be an Oscar contender similar to the majority of your projects but it could make a powerful film. And I strongly urge you to take a chance with this project and concentrate on making the best film possible rather than the most marketable film possible.

Yours faithfully,
ticklepickleme

10 thoughts on...Hugo

2011-12-04T15:17:00.001Z

Martin Scorsese has created a love letter to cinema that will join Cinema Paradiso as a proud celebration of the medium's power and beauty. This is a treat for film buffs.
Howard Shore's score is a glorious contribution to this celebration. More important than the overly documented presence of 3D, his music transports us into the wonderful world Scorsese has envisaged...
...Whilst speaking of 3D, it is only fair to say that this is the most impressive use of the technology in a fiction film. But that doesn't mean that it is as essential to the storytelling as any other element of the film. In fact I doubt if this film would be diminished if it had been screened in 2D.
Emily Mortimer has an adorable smile.
Helen McCrory is an underrated gem of an actor. Her work is continuously sublime. She has the ability to embrace an audience regardless of the character she is portraying (even when playing the villainous Mrs Malfoy...or Cherie Blair). Someone give her a role that will launch her into the consciousness of audiences!
I am a huge fan of robotic companions (see also: Teddy in A.I. Artificial Intelligence).
The cast are universally superb, from the child leads to their adult counterparts and the very talented supporting cast who excel in their small roles. I particularly liked McCrory, as well as Christopher Lee and Michael Stuhlbarg in their brief appearances.
Has Paris ever looked as magical as it does here?
I applaud the preservation of cinema and Scorsese only deserves praise for his personal campaign with past film treasures...but it is a shame that, at times, this message feels rather heavy-handed. Still this is an aspect that is hard to criticise when you are a lover of film.
I hope that this continues to be a key film in awards season. It will definitely be recognised for its technical aspects and, presumably, for its terrific score (which has moments similar to those afforded to Michael Giacchino's work on Up) but it deserves to be celebrated for its direction, screenplay and as a Best Picture.

Smile.

2011-12-03T12:56:00.001Z

Take another look x4

2011-12-02T18:14:00.001Z

How do you describe a feeling?

2011-12-02T17:36:00.001Z

Dreaming.

2011-12-02T17:21:00.000Z

"I want to be wealthy. If not wealthy, content...comfortable. You know? I want to be somebody. I mean, I am somebody. I just want to be a rich somebody."

A quick celebration...of Howard Ashman

2011-12-01T18:30:00.001Z

"I like to think that we [Disney Animation] have two guardian angels. One is Walt Disney, who sits on one shoulder and truly touches every frame of every movie that we make today. And the other is Howard, who sits over on the other shoulder and touches every musical note in every movie we make today. And will for decades to come."

Top of the class. Potential leading ladies for Lars von Trier.

2011-12-01T17:37:00.000Z

10. Kylie Minogue
An odd choice. But one that would is irresistible. Minogue has expressed her interest in developing a film career and von Trier always gets a good performance from his leading ladies, whatever his methods may be.

9. Jessica Chastain
What can't this woman do? This year she has blown audiences away with a variety of films/performances...hopefully von Trier has taken note and will have her in mind when developing future projects (she could be the third Grace if he was ever to make Wasington).

8. Sarah Jessica Parker
Parker's success as Carrie Bradshaw has marked her as a symbol of American capitalism. Wouldn't it be delicious if von Trier unleashed his dislike of such lifestyles on such an icon? Plus Parker would be given a rare opportunity to flex her acting skills.

7. Julianne Moore
An actor who is not afraid to take risks seems like an obvious choice for von Trier. Why hasn't this happened yet?

6. Rachel Weisz
There is an instant likability about Weisz that, I feel, would make her a very effective protagonist for von Trier. And she would be uncharacteristically strong-willed (if playing her usual persona...), which could be very interesting.

5. Cameron Diaz
I'm still bitter that the world ignored her beautiful work in In Her Shoes...and her career that has continually been underrated. The solution? The opportunity to play the female protagonist in a von Trier film. It will never be a quiet event.

4. Tilda Swinton
More than any other actor, Swinton loves a challenge. And she always delivers a terrific performance. This needs to happen.

3. Michelle Williams
There is a vulnerability to Williams that pains my heart when I think of her as the victim of a von Trier film. I think it would be breathtaking to watch her falter as Emily Watson, Bjork, and Nicole Kidman have. Hopefully with the revengeful conclusion of the latter.

2. Kristen Scott Thomas
It is an obvious choice as Thomas is my favourite actor and von Trier my favourite director, their collaboration would be orgasmic for me. And she would be fantastic.

1. Amy Adams
Adams represents all that is joyful about the world...and that is why she would be the perfect choice to enter the world of von Trier, who treats naivety as a weakness. It would be heartbreaking. In a very good way.

An irresistible statement.

2011-11-30T15:41:00.001Z

"You wouldn't have to be drunk to bed Catherine Deneuve. I don't care what your sexual history to that point had been by that point."

Relationship advice from...Katharine Hepburn

2011-11-30T12:44:00.001Z

"Two is the loveliest number in the world."

Working boy.

2011-11-30T11:00:00.001Z

One opinion...Michelle Williams and My Week With Marilyn

2011-11-30T10:27:00.001Z

When a film is crippled by a poor script only talent can compensate. When a film is crippled with an awful script like My Week With Marilyn the talent - although on display - is squandered.

There are too many conflicts, too many characters and not enough development to keep this film interesting. For the first 10-15 minutes we delve into the world of our protagonist, Colin Clark (Eddie Redmayne), whose ambition to succeed in the film industry is sidelined with the arrival of Laurence Olivier (Kenneth Branagh) and Marilyn Monroe (Michelle Williams). From then the film becomes a muddled tale of Monroe's relationship with Olivier, her acting coach, her female co-star and Clark. Oh and there is a romantic subplot between Clark and a wardrobe assistant (a very unimpressive Emma Watson). A film that is undecided in its focus is always going to have an uphill struggle. And who is the biggest victim of this? Williams.

Williams is the only element of the film that overcomes the script. Even the most inauthentic moments are given credence on her part, she is one of the few life rafts. Unfortunately she is never granted much more to do than represent the icon, we never delve any deeper than Monroe's image. This feels like a waste of an opportunity, and of Williams' talent.

And despite what I said earlier this week, I doubt very much that Williams could win an Oscar for a performance within a film so poor.